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| The author on right with husband-to-be at a Tri Delt Party c. 1956 |
During the 1970s, most of us “Greeks,” either active or alums, had the
uncomfortable feeling that such college organizations were becoming passé, rejected and despised through a welter of egalitarian fervor. When
my husband and I were at college in Iowa from1955 to 1959, fraternities and
sororities were practically de rigueur
for those wanting a social life. Alternatively, for those wanting a convenient, modestly priced place to room and board, a
fraternity was a practical option, which was my husband’s main motivation for
joining, he being a returning GI from the Korean War. Our college was a small, liberal arts school
with only a few national fraternities for men and women, but they dictated
one’s social life. For those “independents”
that wouldn’t or couldn’t go out for “rush,” a few school-directed activities
were available, but it was pretty slim pickin’s. I expect a larger college or university would
have more to offer the non-Greek, but for me, being non-affiliated was
unthinkable. I wanted to be part of a
group of people who most likely would become my good friends. And I was right. I still correspond with many of my sorority
sisters over fifty years later. How many
people who were “independent” can make that claim?
Those aforementioned years of culture change affected our two older sons who eschewed
fraternity life at different universities in Tennessee, though one did
pledge his father’s fraternity and then decided against joining. Our youngest son also gave it a go, pledging
and soon dropping out of the same fraternity in the 1980s. Something had drastically changed, possibly too much bad
publicity. The idea that the pledging process was cruel and snobbish, a kind of
“keeping out” rather than “bringing in” pervaded the discussion about these
organizations. It seems odd to me that
anyone would want to be in a group of people that were not compatible to one’s own
interests and attitudes, but that silly claim of exclusiveness has ruled the day
from the 70s to the present.
Two
sororities at my college were attractive to me and I to them, so my decision
had to be weighed carefully. I could
imagine myself joining either group, but during my first weeks in the dorm, I’d
linked up with several girls, two across the hall, and my roommate, all of whom I liked instantly.
We four got along famously, and they were going to pledge one of the
sororities I was considering. Also, a
high school friend, a year older, was in that same sorority, and was plumping
for my joining (in fact, she became my pledge mom and mentor and is pictured above with her first husband, now deceased). In a sense, the decision turned out to have
been made, and I never regretted it.
Our
sorority, Delta Delta Delta, had a wonderful reputation at that school (as well as nationally),
encouraging good scholarship and diverse activities such as music and other arts, scientific research,
and sports. In other
words, being well-rounded was its hallmark. I, having a bit too much fun that first semester, got put on
probation because my mid-term grades hovered around Cs instead of my usual As
and Bs. That meant study hours were
strictly enforced with penalties to be exacted by my sorority if final grades were not pulled
up. I managed to keep afloat,
scholastically, and in the good graces of my senior sisters. Despite the intense studying, we also managed
to get involved in the Homecoming parade; Mini-Orph, a college-wide musical
show; dances and teas; and supporting not just the college teams but also
fraternity and sorority intramural sports.
Over
the years, whenever I happened to be visiting my home town at opportune
times, my mentor friend would see to it I attended any special sorority events,
such as the 100th anniversary of our chapter, the first one
organized after the founding in Boston. It was fun to meet with several old friends
during those events, too. For a number
of years, up until just recently as a matter of fact, about ten of us had a
Round Robin going of letters and pictures, keeping us up to date. Probably ninety percent of my sorority
sisters married men they met at our college, mainly through the fraternity/sorority
connection. Incredible as it sounds,
there has been not one divorce among those of us in the Round Robin after fifty-some
years. A few of my sorority sisters have
lost their husbands, but we have defied the national average.
Only
one of my three grand-daughters went to a university that offered sorority
affiliation, and she did pledge one (not mine). Having attended another college
earlier, she found herself too much older than her fellow pledges and dropped
out. Still, sororities appear to be thriving, I have participated little myself in alumni activities,
living too far from university centers. According to the news I get from the Tri Delts at Vanderbilt, activities abound, with the Eve of Janus Ball as Children's Hospital's longest-running fundraising event. Over the course of forty-three years, the
Nashville alumnae chapter of Delta Delta Delta has given more than $4 million
in support of the Tri Delta Pediatric Hematology Oncology Clinic and the new
Tri Delta Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Research Endowment at Children's
Hospital. This kind of charitable
sponsorship is typical of most of the national sororities and fraternities, and
altogether I have found nothing to complain about my particular organization,
either from the collegiate standpoint or the alumni activities. I wonder if those who express disdain for
such groups have belonged to one beyond the pledge state. I wonder.
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